Best night ever crossdressed! – in Public!
I haven’t written anything here for a long time now. That’s half because I haven’t had time, and half because I haven’t dressed in about eight months now anyway. That is, until last Tuesday, when I had the most fantastic evening of my life crossdressed. Before any dirty minded readers get all excited expecting some kind of sex related story, let me warn you. It’s not going to happen. I’m an innocent. I enjoying getting dressed as a girl and I want to try to pass as a girl in normal everyday situations. When I can do that, that’s what I class as a good time. That kind of thing is a dream for me.
I knew for the past month that this day was coming because I knew for the first time in a long time I’d be able to take the time to do it and I could afford to do it. I bought myself a new dress and a pair of boots. I bought the boots because the heel is relatively flat, and I don’t want to appear any taller than I already am. It’s hard enough to pass as it is without making it harder. I think the boots are cool though anyway and are stylish. The dress I bought is a short purple and black kind of stretch dress. I liked it when I saw it, and I thought it might be good for my figure because the colours give the illusion of narrow waist and wide hips. Also I think the effect of the purple coming up near my shoulders might make them appear smaller. The only problem I have with it is that it’s not A line, or the skirt doesn’t flare out at all, and that really helps to hide the masculine figure. I took a chance on it anyway.
Tuesday morning I got up and went looking up eyeshadow videos online, because I’m never happy with how my eyes come out. I have three problems in the eye area, 1. eyebrows are too thick and can’t thin them all that much (although I do as much as I can get away with), 2. my eyes are kind of deep set, 3. My eyebrows are hooded a bit. It’s hard to do good eyeshadow on eyes like that. I found a few great videos on deep eyes, and on hooded eyes though and I did my eyeshadow a couple of times that morning to practice. It’s the first time I ever gave it such patience!. Then I looked up how to walk as a girl. I’ve done all this stuff before, but I wanted to improve it and I was never very good at it anyway. Again I found some good tips and practiced that for a while in the kitchen still in my pajamas and boots! I had planned to leave the house early and get a good day at it, but I kept getting interrupted by visitors and phonecalls. Eventually I got to have my shower and a good shave, which turned out to be a bad shave because I bled so bad. I can’t leave the house dressed because I could meet my neighbours, but I did get to do a couple of things.
I wanted to do my eyeshadow before leaving, so I could do it with a proper mirror and light. I could leave the house and drive with sunglasses on so at least that wouldn’t be noticed. I got dressed then in
- Black poloneck
- New black and purple dress
- Purple flowy cardigan
- Black leggings
- Black boots
I also fashioned a homemade gaff (for keeping male parts in place) out of a tesco’s bag! I thought of it one night in bed and wanted to try it. It’s very rough and ready, but it was perfect. Monday night I spent about two hours cutting and stitching to get it right. I made it because I’m always a bit concerned about things not staying in place and stuff. Usually when I go out I wear at least two pairs of knickers and one is a control panty. Last time I was out for example I wore two pairs of knickers, then leggings, then another control panty over that to keep things in place. Even with that, when I drive around and walk a bit I still have to tighten things up every now and again and I’m always a bit concerned about how it looks etc. This thing I made turned out way better than I expected. Those panties being worn in triplicate like that get very uncomfortable after a while and I do be dying to take them off at the end of the night. My hope made gaff was lovely and comfortable, cosy even! It keep things perfectly in place with no hope of moving and I could walk around in confidence and not have to think about anything showing in any way. I really was delighted with it.
After I was dressed I put on my eyeshadow, checked my outfit to see if I was happy with it. It was really only an experiment with it, but I was delighted when I saw it. I didn’t want to change it at all. Then I put on my sunglasses and put on a jacket and track suit pants over my girl clothes and walked out to the car and headed off. By the way I was delighted with my eyeshadow too. It turned out better than it ever had before. I couldn’t get over how good it looked. I drove to a quiet car park and continued my makeup, then some people came and I had to move on. I did that a few times before I was finished it. Thats the problem with that, it’s very hard to put on makeup in comfort.
I drove to a town about an hour away, and parked my car. Usually when I go out I’m always waiting until no one is around so I can build my confidence a bit, them I’m looking around all the time and afraid of getting caught or being attacked or whatever. This time I decided to just be confident and practice my walk in a public enough area. Doing the walk with my new tips felt wonderful. I felt twenty times more feminine than I ever did before. Not only did I feel my walk looked right, it actually felt good and feminine to walk that way. I discovered I had to feel like a girl to walk like a girl, but then walking like a girl made me feel even more like a girl. Let me tell you, that was intoxicating to feel that way.
I’ll finish up now by giving you the highlights of the night
- Parked on main street and walked about fifty yards, then took a chance and went into a hotel. No one batted an eyelid. The just didn’t take a second glance. If they did they might have noticed but they didn’t. I looked in every mirror I could find and loved looking at myself. Then went looking for the ladies which was even more exciting because I had to go upstairs. When I was going up I met a woman coming down and she just smiled at me. Heaven! Then went back to car.
- Parked further down and went into another quieter hotel. Was looking at the menu outside when an oldish man came out and told me the food was very good. He was out for a smoke and chatted me for about ten minutes. I don’t know if he read me but he gave no signs that he did. I was feeling braver now so walked down the street about 300 yards to another hotel. Had to walk past loads of people and some of them young but got no reactions at all. Didn’t go into this hotel. Was walking past video store on way back and staff were outside. All of them were young and I was sure they’d notice and laugh but none of them did. Then walked to a large supermarket and just walked in the door to see if anyone would notice me. People looked but no body seemed to notice I wasn’t a girl. I thought this was amazing so I went in and browsed around for ages.
- Then I drove out the road to another hotel complex. I went in there and went to the ladies and walked around for ages. I was looking in a mirror doing my hair and a man stood staring at me with a suspiscious look on his face so I think he read me but I didn’t care.
- I left there and drove around for a bit, then parked again. I got out of my car and walked about a hundred yards down the street when I realised I had just walked past a car and two people I knew were in it. I couldn’t go back to my own car because I was afraid they’d recognise me. I was trapped until they left. This was very exciting. I knew now I might as well just walk further, so I walked for ages, past loads of people. It felt so wonderful to be walking and feeling like a girl. Then I saw a quiet little Indian restaurant so I took a chance and went in and ordered food. I was the only one there which I was glad of. I don’t know if the guy read me. He was Indian and called me ‘sir’ but I don’t know if that was just his grasp of the language because other than that he was really really nice to me all evening. (Before you say it I don’t think he was gay either!) His friend came in then who was Irish and was chatting. He just said Hello to me as if I was a girl and didn’t look twice after that. That felt wonderful and the walk back to the car again was so much fun.
- Then I went to Tesco which felt like my biggest challenge of the evening because I knew it’d be bright and there was a long walk through the shopping centre to get to it. Also I knew it’d be busy. I walked right in and wandered around for ages with no problems. Then I saw two young girls (early twenties at the most) walking toward me. Normally I’d avoid these because I was certain I’d be read, but this time I wanted them to. I wanted to see what they’d do. The walked past me and around the corner and burst out laughing. I went back to them and said (in a friendly tone) “Do ye not like my outfit”. They said they thought it was amazing and they were shocked and they were saying how I had a better figure than most girls they knew and they kept asking how I got such an amazing body. They asked if my breasts were real (they’re not), so I told them to touch them and find out. They got a real giggle out of doing that. I stood there chatting them for ages (in my male voice, all pretences dropped) and felt wonderful. It was so relaxing and the best fun I’ve had for ages. Standing so close to two pretty girls and dressed like them, it was just wonderful.
- When I was on the way home then I stopped in a little town and there was a couple of quiet pubs. I went into one and there was an old couple drinking and watching tv and a young guy behind the bar. I asked the young guy (in my male voice for fun) if I could use the toilet. He said no problem, so I went through and admired myself in the mirror for a while, wondering what he was thinking outside. Then I went back out and ordered a coffee and sat there and drank it in the company of the others. Felt so wonderful. Felt so special and so normal at the same time.
So that’s it, more or less, the story of the most exciting and best time I ever had crossdressed. It makes me feel warm in my heart to think of it I absolutely loved every minute of it.
I’ll post pics from the night on flickr. The pics didn’t come out great though. I thought my makeup was the best it ever was that night, but the pictures make my face look all angular and masculine.
About Giving Up Crossdressing – Part 2
Anyway I was saying about giving up crossdressing. I don’t know if you can. I decided that I was dwelling on it too much and it was maybe holding me back in life (although I think now that it wasn’t the crossdressing’s fault but rather my own), so I decided that if I wanted to move forward in life I’d have to give it up, which I did!
I gave it up for a year or so (or about 14 mths to be exactish) but not so long ago I decided to try it again, for a few reasons:
- It was still on my mind all the time, it had never really left me (or I, it). I was still looking up crossdressing stuff online etc, still thinking about it, still admiring the clothes girls wore when I saw them
- Girls fashions changed and I really liked the new stuff and regretted not being able to try it out
- I realised that for the year since giving it up I had in a way felt dead inside. I discovered that this was because instead of giving it up and moving on with my life, I, instead shut off a part of myself so I could move on. I was focussing on shutting off that part of myself so much I lost the parts of me that were connected to dressing. This included my joy for life, my love of adventure and excitement, my creativity, and so on
So I started again a few weeks ago. I discussed it with my girlfriend. We had several difficult conversations about it and for a while it almost came down to a decision between dressing and her, until I realised how ridiulous that was. There was no choice. On the one hand I wanted to be with her, and that was it! On the other hand a part of me (for now) needed to dress and I realised I shouldn’t bury that any longer, so I proposed to her a way to dress that we both could be comfortable with (promising to keep safe and not get caught, and to do it away from home), which I was happy with.
As I told her, I need to be true to, and respectful of her, but I also need to be true to myself and do what is right by myself. For now, for some reason a part of me needs to dress. Maybe this will always be the case, maybe when I’ve accepted that part of myself and grown enough I’ll not need it anymore and move on naturally, or just accept it as a natural healthy part of my life and live with it in a positive way.
So anyway, I bought some clothes, a wig, and makeup. Not cheap to start all over again! I’ve dressed and gone out for some adventures twice since. The first time was very difficult and didn’t go so well. Confidence was gone a lot. The second time was much more fun. I notice this time I have a much more positive healthier attitude to dressing. It’s a fun activity that I enjoy rather than a thing to dwell on/get hung up on and feel guilty about etc. I now stop myself when I think about it too much because I know I’ll have my time totally dedicated to it.
That’s it so far. When I started out writing the first part of this post I had a very different attitude. I thought then I was giving it up. This time it’s different. I’m not understanding but I am accepting, so much as I can.
Thanks for reading!
About Giving up Crossdressing – Part 1
Hi there,
There aren’t any pictures of me on this blog for one reason, because a year ago I decided to give up crossdressing, or maybe not give up but move on from it. I used to had some pictures and had them on flickr, and got a lot of nice compliments.
The reason I decided to try going without crossdressing in my life is…well I’ll try to explain…
I started dressing, like most of us do, as a young child, so young I can’t remember it clearly. All I remember is asking my younger sister for her tights (which she was wearing at the time) and then going and putting them on. Imagine I was that young that I was naive enough not to know what was ‘wrong’ with what I was doing. I know I didn’t even think about it then, something just took hold of me, and has again many times since and I just did it. If you don’t crossdress it’s probably akin to when a smoker just has to have a cigarette…it defies rationality. And if you do crossdress (or have done) then you already know what I mean!
First time I ever crossdressed with my girlfriend
This is such a fond memory for me. It was about a year and a half ago. I had been with my girlfriend a few months but I had told her from the very beginning that I crossdressed. She didn’t really understand what that meant, or what it meant to me but she didn’t judge me either. She said she would try to understand and support me as best as she could.
This particular day we were in Dublin shopping and there were some other people with us. I found it difficult as she and the other girls were looking at girls clothes and buying and trying things on while I couldn’t even look or admit to being interested.
That evening I was very down and went to bed early. I was lying there reading when she came up and asked if I was ok etc. With enough prodding from her I eventually admitted to how these things make me feel. She said she had considered that during the day but didn’t know if she should bring it up.
She asked if I’d like her to put some makeup on me so we did. I was self conscious but it felt lovely. She did my makeup and it was better than anything I had done before. It felt great. Then she asked if I wanted to get dressed. I thought I’d pick some of my clothes but she thought I’d like to try some of hers for something different.
First I put on my own control panty (to keep things in place) and bra, and my fake breasts made out of tights filled with rice!
Then she took out her bag of tights and I tried on different ones. She had loads with different colours and patterns. We settled on a black very opaque pair with kind of diamonds pattern. I can’t remember the proper name for it. They were really tight fitting and felt great.
Then she got me this kind of long sequinned black lace material skirt and a black top to go with it. The top was cool and had a kind of thing you tie up around your neck and a kind of long sleeve cotton cardigan thing with it. It was a very elegant outfit. I felt fantastic to be sitting there with her wearing all her clothes, her tights and everything. I was wearing my own long black boots with a strap detail on the side, and a 2 in heel.
Felt so good to be encased in that stuff. We fixed my wig and took some pictures. I told her if she didn’t mind I’d really like to go out in public for a while as I hadn’t done it in quite some time. She agreed no problem and we got in the car and drove to a small town about 15 minutes away. As I stepped outside the door of the house and felt my legs in the tights brushing against the material of the skirt it it was wonderful. I loved hearing my boots crunching against the gravel.
When We arrived in the town it was about midnight. I saw an oldish man walking home from the pub, in our direction. I got my girlfriend to let me out of the car and drive on and I would walk to meet her. I wanted to walk past the man in these clothes. I got out of the car and felt the breeze through my skirt on my tights. I stood up and saw some girls in the distance. I wondered could they see me, and did they think I was a girl. The man walked past me and just smiled.
I met my girlfriend again and got in the car and drove further down the street. We parked and walked for a bit but I wanted to go back as my confidence wasn’t the best at this time. That’s the way it is I find. Sometimes you don’t mind and you can do anything and not care, while other times you#re afraid of everything.
Anyway, that’s pretty much the evening as it happened. It wasn’t the best from a going out crossdressing point of view but it is very special because of the fact that my girlfriend got involved and helped me. This will always mean a lot to me.
Fond memories of a great day crossdressed
I was lying in bed the other night and got to thinking about this time about a year ago when I went out crossdressed during the day.
I don’t normally go out much during the day and at this time I hadn’t dressed much for ages. Plus I was kinda going thru a bad time about the whole thing.
I was home alone about midday, and hadnt dressed properly in a while. i decided to go upstairs and practice my makeup. I wanted to play around with foundation and see could I get a smooth cover on my face. I got my girlfriend’s makeup stuff and went to the bathroom. Normally if I put on makeup I’m going to go out for a while and I’m usually so excited I rush it but this time I knew I wouldn’t be going out so I really took my time.
Well the results were really good. I was really impressed with the coverage and the look of what I had done. I put on my wig to check it with that and it looked really good even passable for that time of day.
I was so excited by how it looked I finished my makeup and then put on this orange poloneck top my girlfriend had bought me to see how it would look and also because I had never worn it with makeup before. It was gorgeous. She had also bought me a brown suede kinda skirt to go with it and I had these kind of opaque brown patterned tights with a little orange in them so I put them on too. I really thought the whole look was gorgeous.
I put on my girlfriends boots which had a stiletto heel and pointed too and they looked really sexy. I loved the look of it. I took loads of pics and put them on flickr to see what people thought. Got loads of compliments…especially for my legs and the boots. I really love tights!.
At this stage not I’d been dressed about an hour or two and began to think about going out in public.
The thoughts of it got me really excited. At this time I was living in a rented house with my girlfriend that was far from my home so I wouldn’t be known around locally.
I stepped outside the door to see how it would feel. The heat of the sun on my tights and the wind playing with my skirt and the tops of my tights felt amazing. I walked around the house for a while then decided to go for it. I got into my car and nervously drove out of the drive way. This is the one place I wouldn’t want to get caught!. I had to drive on a narrow road for about five minutes and that was alittle scary if I was to meet someone I knew but luckily I didn’t. I often say a little prayer as I leave that I’ll be able to have fun and be looked after. When I got out to the main road I was fine.
I drove about 15 mins to the nearest town. I wanted to get out of the car and walk past someone to see how my look was but the town was a little busy and scary plus there was lots of school children about which are always dangerous when you’re dressed as a girl. They’re not afraid to shout at you, especially teenagers…yes it has happened to me, on my first time out! But that’s another story.
I drove through the town and out the other side cos it was too busy. I drove up and down it for a while looking for somewhere I could get out, but I never got the chance or the courage. Eventually I drove on through the town about another five minutes further and came to a crossroads with a little shop and pub on it. I seriously considered going into the shop but people kept coming and going and I was afraid to chance it. I drove a little past the shop and parked, thinking of walking back to it.
I got out of the car and walke around for a while. It felt so fantastic to be out of the car in my girl clothes. I just walked a little down the road to build up my courage and settle in a bit. Cars drove past me and didn’t seem to notice which was nice. I decided in the end not to go to the shop. It just didn’t feel safe to me. I am very careful with this stuff and if I don’t feel right about it I don’t do it. I drove back to the first town and drove up and down again for a while but didn’t feel any better about it so I continued on about ten minutes until I came to another little village.
At the end of this village was a little grocery shop with a garden centre attached to it. This was perfect. It was exactly what I wanted. I could walk into the garden centre and walk around for a while and be safe. It would help me settle and build up my courage and maybe I could go into the shop then.
I parked outside the ship but a little down from the front door. I prefer to walk up to a place. It makes it easier to leave if I don’t feel good. Cars were coming and going so I was waiting for a break. When I get confident I don’t mind cars and people but at first it takes a while. So I waited a few minutes and watched cars come and go. Then this little car pulls up behind mine. A woman in probably her 40s driving with I assume her mother beside her. The woman goes into the shop and the mother stays in the car. I like older people when I’m dressed. They make me feel safe. Either they don’t notice, or they do but don’t mind or don’t react
So I got out of the car and walked back toward the shop past the other car making sure the older woman could see me. She looked up and just smiled which felt fantastic. I love being accepted. So I walked past that car and into the garden centre. The centre was a small area with an open area and a few small sheds. As I entered there was a couple of people there but two of them left and went to the shop when I was going in. They didn’t pay any attention to me.
The walk up to the garden centre was about 100yards and every step felt fantastic. I felt so kind of exposed in a way but felt wonderful and free also. Walking along and being aware of how I was dressed in my turtleneck and my lovely short skirt and my tights. The feel of the tights on my legs and the boots I was wearing was gorgeous. Hearing the crunch of the gravel under every step was so exciting.When I walked into the centre itself I was feeling great.
I just walked around the centre for a while. I wanted to be and feel normal. There was another woman walking around too and I thought how wonderful it is for me to be hear with her us both doing the same thing but me dressed like a girl. I wanted her to look at me, to see me up close, to notice my makeup, my breasts, my tights, my boots. I wanted to see if I would pass. A part of me didn’t want to pass but wanted to see her reaction. I made my way along the rows to where she was. She was coming round a corner and had to walk past me. She looked straight at me but didn’t really pay much attention. I hung around the area she was for a while until eventually both of us were directly opposite each other either side of a small table. The table was low and as she looked down at the plants I knew she could see the length of my skirt and my tights and I felt fantastic.
Eventually she went into the shop. I wanted to stay there with her forever I felt so good. I decided I felt safe enough to go into the shop then so I waited a few minutes not to appear to be following her and I entered the shop. The shop was long back from the road but narrow. There was a back entrance into the shop from the garden centre. That’s why I felt safe because I knew that end of the shop would be quiet and I could look around and leave again by that door if I felt un safe.
The shop was quiet. The woman in the garden centre with me had made her way to the counter by now and there was a girl in her 20s serving. I slowly naturally made my way down through the shop pretending to be shopping, stopping to savor the moment every time I caught a reflection of myself in anything. Spent an age going through their tights selection. I love doing that when I’m dressed.
I arrived at the counter area which was small and had a little section off it for people to have tea etc. As I approaced the shopgirl looked up at me and smiled. That always makes me feel so good to be seen and accepted by a girl. I was standing there thinking she sees me in all these clothes with this wig and breasts and makeup and my short skirt and boots and these lovely opaque tights and she’s just looking at me like I’m a normal person.
Over in the tea area was a man in his 50s I think in a white coat and peaked cap. I think he was a delivery man stopping for a break. I walked in there where he was. I wanted him to see me. He turned and looked for a second, glanced at my legs which I loved. I wanted to sit near him and just be a normal girl having tea. I wanted to ask him for the milk in my male voice to see his reaction but I didn’t. I walked around there a little longer then left and the girl gave me another smile walking out the door.
As I was walking to my car I walked past another man and he just nodded which was nice.
I was feeling on top of the world right now. I drove to another little shop and walked in and around and out. A younger guy stared at me there. I don’t know if it was for good reasons or bad but it scared me a little.
Then I drove back to the first town where I started. I was feeling much more brave now plus the town was quieter and the school children were gone. I parked and walked about 100 yards to a supermarket. I had to walk past a few people and they paid no notice. Two of them were nuns and they just smiled and continued on.
When I got to the shop I stood outside for a minute wondering if I’d go in. A lady from the shop came out and put stuff in the bin and said hello to me. That was nice but I wasn’t 100% sure if she thought I was a girl or if they saw me from inside the shop and were wondering and she came out for a closer look. Either way she was nice to me and that always feels goot. I walked into the shop and walked around a little, stood right beside a man who was shopping and bent down to look at something knowing he could see me. That felt nice. I looked at the shop girls to see if they noticed me but they weren’t really paying attention but I could easily imagine them laughing after I left. I wish they would have said how well I looked though
That was almost it then except for on the walk back to the car this guy in a van stared at me like he was unsure. That shook my confidence a little and made me look at all the other things that happened with some doubt. I didn’t feel good about staying out any longer then so I left and drove home and changes.
I really had a fantastic time though and days like that are just wonderful for me. That’s why I dress and I hope that conveys what I get out of it. It was just a really wonderful simple experience which I really enjoyed.
Buying my first schoolgirl uniform
This is a story about the day I bought a schoolgirl uniform for myself
I thoroughly enjoyed cross dressing and I loved the look of the schoolgirl uniform. This is partially because one of my favourite items of girls clothing was tights, and probably still is. In particular I mean opaque tights. I so adore them, especially the way they make your legs look. I love the schoolgirl look. I don’t mean in any perverted way, I just mean the look. That is, the uniform look with the black opaque tights. I was dying for that look myself. I used to see sometimes girls walking and I’d be so jealous of their uniform. I’d be dying to have one for myself. Then I started to see the clothes shops with their signs up “School Uniforms now in stock”. I was dying to go in and get myself one, but so so scared. What would happen? How would they react? What would they say? So the school uniform signs came and went for that year, then the following year, then they came again. This year I had been so built up, I really really wanted my own school uniform. I wanted to try it on. I wanted to look at myself in the mirror. I wanted to put on my own girl’s school uniform with my own black opaque (impossible to see through!) tights. I was coming home from work one day and was driving past the school uniform shop with the sign in the window. My mind was going “Will I? Won’t I?” I decided not to. I continued on home. I was at my desk doing some work. I was pacing up and down. I was looking out my window in the direction of the shop, which was funny considering I couldn’t even see it. I was formulating a plan. Would I lie? Would I create some convoluted story? Would I tell the truth in a hidden way? I knew I would use the best most simplest plan of all! I bit the bullet and went for it. I entered the shop. There were a few people there. The old lady came to me. I said “I need to get a school uniform”. She said “What do you need?” I said “Skirt and Jumper”. She said “What, Oh I thought you wanted it for yourself!”, and smiled. I smiled back. Then she went and got me the uniform. This was so exciting I was like a little boy at Christmas. I paid and went home
And put on my brand new schoolgirl uniform with my own black opaque tights!
My girlfriend’s tights
Damn I so so so want to wear them.
She has these most gorgeous wolford tights. The shininess of them…mmmm.
Goddammit I want to slide those gorgeous creations up on my legs and be encased in them. I want to put on a lovely little skirt and a pair of boots and go for a walk.
Feel the wind on my legs.
Let people see my legs in those beautiful shiny opaque tights.
So adorable.
I really want to slide my legs down into them.
Feel myself encased in them.
Any guy who hasn’t experienced the beauty of wearing tights is missing out.
I love opaques.
Look at the beautiful legs on girls wearing opaques…
So wonderful standing there looking at your legs in beautiful opaque tights.
So wonderful being in a shop dressed that way and people thinking you’re a girl…
mmm…
